Propose

I suggest there’s something relevant to your needs or the questions that are teasing you. Provoking you to enliven them with your energy and attention and projection and articulation. That something that forms in the outer realms of our existence, that’s sensuous and likely to make you desire another day. What is this? If only I could turn you into lyrics that make you swim in my mouth divine and spit you out so the world understands a semblence of truth. I gather that I should come back down to reality, where the senses swell and the rationale root. WoW: the garden must of besweat the truth of the nature we were formed upon. What god would allow us to, but form the rod so that we may not? That same dirty that so formally desires us to succumb and sense and resign to a ‘no’ that is hard to adjoin to truth. You created each fiber. If that fiber is not worthy than why? What, may I care not to resign to it when it worth the entirety of ‘no’ I’m obligated to rejoin? Then, the thoughts: as if not to ask you of you truth along the billions of others you created. Seems formless, as if I was to feel for the certainty of time– given that that truth would remain. No questions? Faith above reason? And you forming both? I struggle, you mourn? The blood spilled…as something I can taste and not question when you gave me the ability to do so?  I am but nothing if I am formed and only given faith when reason is that which makes permanence (or reality) exist. You ask too much of these feeble bodies that we operate here to-within. Not to say that faith is not feasible, but that my interaction with you must be more than that which I already know and can proceed to behave upon. You are omnipresent, omnipotent…I, surely, not. I ask for you, Creator. In the form that is sensible to that voice clearly understandable in that which is me— that you decided, ultimately, to create.

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Countryside

Stepped out into the cool, tepid air

The brisk breeze against my cheeks 

And the expanse of the velvet black canopy above me

Out on the countryside


Venus winked at me with her dazzling flair

Her ethereal tolerance soothed my soul

And the solitude of immenseness boiling soil beneath me

Out on the countryside


Open, yet secure and my footing was left behind

Perchance the gentle kindness could warm my space

And the touch of brilliance ignite this raging sea

Out on the countryside 


No utterance to share, the trickery of defeat to rewind

Naming so many treasures lacking the resemblance of my face

And the faint projection your hope to be free

Out on the countryside 

Reflection: 6th.1

I didn’t walk the Chi-town streets of East Garfield Park, but the shadows lain before me rifled my core. Ya see: His name was Chicken. Those skinny long legs shot up on that 6 foot frame, even in 7th grade. His shadow’s gaze settled my chin upon my chest and my stammer tired to find my footing at a rapid pace. The long walk home from my school was a lonely one for this girl– only because I was the only. Sure my classrooms were speckled with friendly faces, but they boarded buses while I hit the pavement. 

Chicken, and his younger brother in my grade, didn’t follow me home everyday, but it was enough to take the ease out of my stride. Ever were the hauls that lasted for days when they snickered and sneered a step behind me. Until we reached the park, finally I could exhale: They went their way, I went mine. 

I’m not sure where Chicken’s predatory lurch came from that day.  I couldn’t beg for a running chance, I was hurled to the ground- with those damn skinny legs straddling me. I wish I could recall what he said. (I think the mind shuts down and reboots sometimes.) When I became conscious of his hands pinning my arms to the ground, I witnessed the vacancy in eyes that I rarely see. Time evaporated for a brief moment as he stared at me. Then his attention was shaken by his brother’s call. He ran. I sank into the earth. In fright. In perplexity. 

I almost withered. But, I chose to arise…again and again.

Hushed

Reeling in my silence

I had an epic thought

That you forgot me

peering at your imagery

It had come without a notice

Something I ask forgiveness

A supple weakness

Seeking her own existence

Uncanny trip, you’ll never know

That life kept better unwrapped

Kill the demons from inside

Perpetual motion, slip, unwind

To turn to next, no one really knows

Can kindness whisper and caress 

The darkest chambers of my mess

To feel alright it is all I knew

Yep, silence came

I turned to fate

Ever watching for release

To grow in courage, tall

Hushed, no more

Not at all

Stepped out into the cool, tepid air

The brisk breeze against my cheeks 

And the expanse of the velvet black canopy above me

Out on the countryside

Venus winked at me with her dazzling flair

Her ethereal tolerance soothed my soul

And the solitude of immenseness boiling soil beneath me

Out on the countryside

Open, yet secure and my footing was left behind

Perchance the gentle kindness could warm my space

And the touch of brilliance ignite this raging sea

Out on the countryside 

No utterance to share, the trickery of defeat to rewind

Naming so many treasures lacking the resemblance of my face

And the faint projection your hope to be free

Out on the countryside 

That newness that pulsates within me

is the quandary that begs you,

replace me with what you once knew.

Lift high your hands, send praise

then beat your chest with contempt-

one can’t evade quandaries.


That ambiguity that sits upon your lips

has no fear; is it remiss?

Its simpleness is just a glimpse of

power.


Bend

And kneel

don’t beckon me

for a feeling you feel.

These thoughts are not allowed to be your own.


Guilt

And guile

I went for the slaughter.

Suppress the only gift

I ever really knew.

Oh, quandaries.

Pierce my flesh with fleeting fantasies

How does the mind proclaim satisfaction

And the heart once overflows

upon purpose

complete with focus–that narrow gate.

Stirring, stewing, steeping

Blended

Decimate my thoughts with queries

and theoretical discourse

How does the heart compete as today

And now the mind dances with perplexities

Arousal

Compelled

By that broadened path.